Lost and Found

I have to admit that I was not always a fan of JRR Tolkien, not until the movies came out. I know! I can hear the collective gasp right now. And I still have to say that I am not as die-hard a fan as my sisters C and W. But it wasn’t that I didn’t like his books, I just had different interests in books. I was and still am a huge Frank Herbert fan. My copy of Dune is more tattered than my copy of The Lord of the Rings. But as I look at the quotes from my little black book, I realize that quite a few of my quotes are actually from Mr. Tolkien’s books.

Not all those who wander are lost. – J.R.R. Tolkien

I can’t remember why I have this written down in my book. But I think about how it applies to my life now. I am planning a trip to a country on the other side of the world, in the opposite hemisphere. I don’t know much about this country other than what I’ve read in the travel book and from the scenery in the Lord of the Rings movies. I plan on going by myself, and I plan on doing things I would normally never do here at home. Am I wandering? Perhaps. Will I be wandering? Definitely. Am I lost? I don’t think so. Not anymore. Will I be lost? Probably. But I have found something as well. I have found a purpose that keeps me going. If you’ve read some of my earlier posts, you’ll know that I haven’t quite been the same since coming back from Hong Kong. I definitely think the sleep problems triggered something in my brain, some chemical or biological process that I don’t want to fix with more chemicals, because I’ve been down that road before. But since I set my goal of going away on this big trip, I’ve had a focus or a distraction, something that keeps me from dwelling on bad thoughts. Everything I’ve been doing, from something as simple as reading a travel book to knitting up Mini Aunty to going out and buying a pair of hikers and signing up with a personal trainer, has been for a purpose. And though I can’t pinpoint it precisely, I have found something to keep me from becoming lost and I can’t wait to take it with me as I wander.