A New Outlook!

I am a different person.  I had a session with my personal trainer the day after I returned from New Brunswick and she commented that I was like a completely different person from when I first met with her 4 years ago.  And I have to agree.

Today’s quote is one day late, or if you count the lack of a quote from last week, it is one week and one day late.  But better late than never.  It comes from one of the books that my friend, Irene, loaned to me a few years back.  Sorry Irene, I’ll have to get these books back to you soon.

If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. – Wayne Dyer 

Four years ago I was working out to try to maintain the weight loss that I had lost due to my illness.  I was working out to try to keep my mood up.  I was working out because I had a series of weddings to go to, including my sister’s and I wanted to look good in a dress.  It was a goal, but not really a long term goal.  And in the four years since then, things have gone up and down for me and it went down enough that I started to recognize symptoms of my depression coming back.  And I just could not have that happen again, because that was probably one of the lowest points of my life back then.  But four years is a long time.  My sisters have babies of their own now.  Another sister has moved away.  I have moved from one area of the company to another.  I am an Aunty times four.  The things around me have changed.

And yet it hasn’t.  The crap at work is still crap.  In fact it sometimes seems crappier, with each passing day.  But since my latest trip out to the New Brunswick branch, I have come to realize that they experience the same kind of crap that we do on the other side of the country.

It always seems like my work is dragging me down and four years ago it was.  But I have also come to realize that I have changed.  I don’t see things like I used to.  I am not as hurt by this crap like before.  It still stings, but there are other more important things in life than crap at work, such as life outside of work.  Maybe it’s the Maritimes rubbing off on me, but I can’t be bothered too much by all the junk that occurred while I was away.  I know that my friend Tina was quite upset but the junk that occurred while I was away and I really feel for her, but really, it’s just work.  From the sounds of it, it was just one problem after another, but that’s the thing.  It’s one problem after another.  Deal with one problem and then move on to the other.  Perhaps I’ve learned avoidance and denial, but I think it’s more of an attitude where I can only do so much.  At the end of my work day, my real life begins.  And that was something I didn’t see four years ago.  My life outside of work has changed and so have I.  And as this real part of my life has expanded and changed me, it has helped me to realize that work is just work.

I am a different person.  My life is more enjoyable.  I have nieces and nephews for me to be an Aunty to them.  I actually have a wedding to go to this year.  But I also have a volcano to climb in 7 months and a new country to explore.  And while I tell people that I am training to climb this volcano, I am really training myself to learn to live and love my life again.  I still have to deal with the same type of crap from four years ago, but this time instead of getting all upset that I’ve stepped in crap…this time I know that I can wash it off and move on with my day.

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